Toothache

I think I’d rather give birth to quadruplets simultaneously than put up with the searing pain I am experiencing around my tooth right now.  I can completely relate to Tom Hanks need to extract his tooth with a pair of ice skates and a rock in the movie Cast Away.  As I sit here staring at the brand new pair of skates my daughter got for Christmas, I’m tempted.  If you’ve ever experienced a pain like the one I am experiencing right now then you understand the irrational thinking pattern that is taking place inside my head.

I had to excuse myself from a phone conversation I was having with my sister as I about lost it and screamed in her ear.  As she reminded me, yes – it was my fault for eating that bowl of Starbucks Java Chip.  Tasted great going down but was it really worth it in the end?  I’ve downed more ibuprofen in the last few weeks than you care to know about, every time my stomach has a twit of pain I’m convinced it’s the ulcer I’m creating from my ibuprofen diet.  I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it, right now I’ve got to keep the pain at bay. 

One might care to be so sarcastic and ask me why I have not gone to the Dentist?  I have!  I have been to this freakin’ dentist office more times for this tooth than you’d believe. 

• The first visit we talk about the tooth, take a few x-rays,  talk about possible reasons the tooth is hurting, pass out rinses and gels and send me on my way with a few ibuprofen since it’s bound to hurt after he poked at it, put ice on it, and just plain looked at it.
• The second visit he numbs my mouth as if I’m going to have every tooth in the upper left quadrant extracted, and proceeds to remove the old filling and fill it with a new composite (read:  $100 co-pay!) filling that never really sat the same way when I bit down. 
• The third visit he grinds down some of the $100 co-pay filling so that I’m unable to truly bite down on this tooth or cause any cross-biting moves that are causing pain every time I accidentally use the tooth!

You can see how one would not want to go back!  Why can’t you figure out what the heck is the problem?  I’ll tell you what it is. It feels as if the roots are exposed or the nerves are exposed and anytime ANYTHING comes in contact with basically the whole upper left side of my mouth, well – it sends me into orbit!  My answer?  Root canal!  Not that I want one, having been through a few in the past but removing the roots or just plain yanking the damn thing out sounds far better than the 30+ continuous sleepless nights I’ve been experiencing lately.  It’s got to be bad if it actually wakes me up at night! 

You might have a toothache if:

1. You brush your teeth with sensitive toothpaste at every brushing for about a year even though the packaging suggests you shouldn’t use it longer than two weeks!
2. You brush your teeth with warm water.
3. You fear cold drinks, hot drinks, and sugar.
4. Even a bite into a Subway sandwich is too cold and sends you into orbit.
5. You can’t go to sleep until you know that your Ambesol is safe on your nightstand.
6. You can’t leave the house the next morning until you know your Ambesol is safe in your purse!
7. You seriously consider squeezing an entire tube of Ambesol into your mouth in the fit of a searing episode.
8. You raid your medicine containers for any trace of a strong drug but then reconsider as you’re not sure it will help and you’re convinced it will leave you with an awful feeling the next day.  Is there such thing as a Valium hangover?
9. You don’t think twice about carrying on a conversation at church with the pastor’s wife while you stick your fingers in your mouth trying to soothe your throbbing mouth!
10. You eat ice cream when you know you shouldn’t because you’re also a sugar addict.
11. You have a protocol for a flair up:  brush with sensitive toothpaste, smear with Ambesol, rinse with warm water, pop 800 mg of Motrin, revisit Lamaze techniques.
12. You find yourself searching the Internet for home remedies and actually try one.
13. You decide that you will break down in the morning and call the darn dentist and pre-order a root canal!